Archive for April, 2010

How to keep your junior administrative position

Having got the job, there are a number of things you should avoid doing while at work if you want to keep your job. Steer clear of the following:

  • Smashing your monitor because you were looking at adult images and were worried that you would get caught
  • Smashing your phone because you had dialled an adult entertainment premium rate phone number and were worried that you might get caught
  • Smashing a filing cabinet where you had stashed all your adult literature because you were worried you might get caught
  • Smashing the VCR in the conference room because you were watching an adult video and were worried that you might get caught
  • Smashing Helen from accounts because you were worried that the two of you might get caught

What to avoid doing in an interview

There are many activities that you should avoid during a job interview. If you want to have a good chance of getting the job in question, refrain from all of the following while the interview is in progress:

  • Stabbing – self explanatory really
  • Whaling – as well as being messy and disruptive, this will also make you look heartless
  • Whoreing – the interviewer may question your moral fibre
  • Hula-hooping/skipping – any gleeful childlike activity will make you seem juvenile and possible even retarded
  • Extortion – it doesn’t even need to be the interviewer who is the victim. If they overhear you extorting or blackmailing someone over the phone, this might be enough to jeopardise your chances of landing that junior administrative position.